Marriage: A Life's Journey

I was sick yesterday so here is my last entry for this series that I'm reading through.  


Philippians 1:27
27 Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel;

Tie Yourself to the Mast

Are you unhappy in your marriage? If so, you might be interested to learn that two-thirds of unhappy couples who stay together say their relationship is significantly better within five years. To achieve that, it’ll require you and your spouse to “tie yourselves to the mast.”

In Odyssey, Homer’s epic work, Odysseus encountered the mysterious Island of the Sirens. The creatures inhabiting the island possessed enchanting voices that distracted sailors from their journey, imprisoning them forever. As Odysseus’ crew passed by, the creatures sang their beautiful song. But Odysseus knew the dangers. He put wax in his crew’s ears and ordered that he be tied securely to the ship’s mast to prevent him from being lured away by their seductive melody. Odysseus also commanded they stay true to their course no matter how bad their circumstances seemed.

Marriages in our culture have become more transient. Too often we’ll throw out relationships at the first sign of trouble. But God created marriage to be a covenant – a deeply binding commitment designed to help us weather our most difficult circumstances. But it requires us to “tie ourselves to the mast.” You have to dismiss the voices that try to lure you away from your marriage or convince you that divorce is an easy answer to your troubles.

If your marriage is unhappy, it’s not too late. Commit your relationship to a course of growth and healing. With hard work and faithfulness to God, you and your spouse may discover the relationship you’ve always dreamed of. 

Marriage: A Life's Journey

I missed my personal bible study time yesterday so today you are going to get a double dose.  I hope that's alright with you? 

Yesterday - 2/6/2014
Hebrews 13:4
"4Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."(NKJV)

Epic Love in Marriage:
In the blockbuster movie Titanic, audiences were infatuated with the love story between the main characters, Jack and Rose. It was a romance of such epic proportions it could only exist in the movies, right? Well … not so fast.

Aboard the Titanic when it sank in the Atlantic Ocean’s frigid waters on April 15, 1912, there was a married couple. As the terror of that tragic journey unfolded, the couple knew that after forty years of marriage they were about to spend their last moments together. “Women and children first” was conventional protocol at the time, of course, which meant that the woman would have to leave behind her beloved husband. But when the moment came, she refused, saying, “As we have lived, so we will die … together.” Numerous accounts of that night indicate the couple then settled into deck chairs and held hands, waiting for the inevitable.

The phrase “‘til death do us part” lies at the heart of traditional marriage vows. Unfortunately, its meaning has become more of a romantic novelty than a sacred, God-honoring commitment. And that’s why few couples are able to have in real life the marriage they’ve so often dreamed about. You see, the amazing love illustrated in the lives of this couple doesn’t magically arise in a moment of crisis. It’s the result of a husband and wife living out their love for one another and honoring their marriage vows each and every day. 






Today - 2/7/2014
Ephesians 4:15
"15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:" (NKJV)

Loving the Stranger:
You wouldn’t marry a complete stranger, would you? Well – surprise! – if you’re married, that’s exactly what you’ve done.

On our wedding day, we all innocently believe the same myth: that we know and understand the person we’re marrying. But every newlywed eventually discovers that getting to know the depths of someone’s heart takes years. That’s the nature of relationship, especially one as intimate as marriage. So in that sense, we all marry a stranger. We’re in love with what little we know about our spouse, but we don’t know them. Not really.

Maybe that’s why Stanley Hauerwas defines a successful marriage as “learning how to love and care for the stranger to whom you find yourself married.” What does he mean? Simply this: In countless ways, the person we commit to on our wedding day will not be the same person five, ten, or twenty years from now. In fact, neither will we. Marriage changes us. So does raising children, careers, the aging process, and other significant events in our lives.

That’s why it’s important to understand that marriage is not a stopping point where we instantly know our spouse fully and completely. It’s a journey through life between a man and woman, both of whom continually grow and change across their years together. As one speaker said, “When people get married, they tend to believe they’ve found a finished statue, when in reality, they’ve merely found the block of marble from which their spouse will emerge.” Commit to loving your spouse and helping them grow more Christ-like each day. 

Marriage: A Life's Journey

Proverbs 4:25-27
"²⁵Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.²⁶ Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.²⁷ Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil."

Drifting in Marriage

Good marriages are like a relaxing canoe ride when the winds are calm and the lake water is as smooth as glass. You just have to be careful you don’t drift.  I would consider my marriage a great marriage.  We have our rough times and our great times.  We do everything we can to allow God to be the center of our marriage.  Is it easy?  No, because we, our flesh, our personal wants and desires get in the way.  Once we realize that God is guiding us as a couple, we start focusing on His wants and His desires and our marriage is strengthened by that. By having Him as the center point of your marriage, you will grow closer together instead of drifting apart.  Trust me, that drawing closer has happened so many times because He has redirected our thinking on Him instead of the things of this world.   

I had a roommate in college, his name was Craig. Craig decided to ditch classes one day and go canoeing.  So Craig left, grabbed a canoe, and set off for a quiet day on the lake. That day there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and almost no breeze, so the water was completely still. Letting the canoe come to rest in the middle of the lake, it dawned on him: it was after hours, and no other boats were out. So he did the only sensible thing. With an extra life jacket for his pillow, he nestled in for a short nap. An hour later, he woke up to voices. Somehow his canoe had beached along the shoreline of a camping area. Craig realized there was a current in the water and a breeze in the air he hadn’t sensed.
They’d caused him to drift, and he ended up somewhere he never intended to be.

Like that canoe, marriages often drift. There’s no obvious conflict or struggle, just subtle distractions that lull spouses asleep. Couples hardly notice they’re losing interest in one another until they end up somewhere they never intended to be.

Fortunately, there’s an easy solution. Be intentional about the path your relationship is taking and keep your eyes focused on the Lord. It may not take as much effort as you think, but these small course corrections can change your marriage.

Marriage is important and not to be taken lightly.  I love my wife and thank God for her each and every day.  I know that at some point in time she will be reading this today so, Emily Plemons, I love you and I thank God for not allowing us to drift and for always bringing us closer together.   

Marriage: A Life's Journey!

Matthew 19:6
"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder."
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Traditional marriage vows include the phrase, “Till death do us part.” Unfortunately, these words have become something of a ceremonial cliché rather than a statement of deep commitment to God and another human being.

Travel through our country’s small towns, and you’ll likely come across an array of honorable folks who still seal their agreements with a handshake and who consider their word an unbreakable bond. In the business world, contracts are much more formal, of course, crafted with highly detailed legal jargon that reads like a foreign language. Whatever form these commitments take, the purpose has always been the same – to offer protection, not when everything is running smoothly, but when things fall apart.

Commitment is perhaps no more important than when it comes to marriage. It provides strength and stability when a relationship encounters challenges. Unfortunately, many couples take an opposite approach when things turn sour – they run, rather than digging in their heels when commitment requires it the most.

As a married man myself, it's important to invest in things that will strengthening your marriage, not tear them down.  Trust me, I understand that relationships can encounter serious difficulties that are not easily resolved and I will admit, I am at fault most of the time (and that's hard for me to fess up to), but it's true. 

In looking at our society, we have the highest rate of divorce in the world and it's evident that most marriages rush too quickly toward marriage break-up instead of diligently working to restore a relationship back to health.

Commitment is foundational to surviving conflict. It enables us to focus on honoring God and serves as the fuel for us to work through our struggles with persistence and determination. The next time you find yourself in a heated disagreement with your spouse, commit to drawing closer together instead of running away.